Is God Really a Douchebag?

Every time I lose something important to me, I think of a message I heard, probably at church camp or something like that.

The speaker said that God doesn’t want us to have things that are more important to us than him. He doesn’t want us to spend more time with something else than we do with him.

So, sometimes, he will start removing things from your life, in order to make your dependence on other things taper off, and your dependence on him to increase. And if the thing you’re spending too much time with is a person or animal, that may mean death for them.

See, I don’t know if this is true.

I think the person who gave this message was one of those people that everyone claims “always has a word from God”. So you would think they know what they’re talking about.

But it has really messed with my belief in God.

Because now, when I lose something or someone about whom I care deeply, I blame God. I think that he is jealous of whatever else I’m spending time with, so he killed it.

And I definitely don’t want to spend time with a douchebag god, so I determine that I am done with him. If he is spiteful enough to kill what I care for just so that I spend time with him, I have no interest in spending time with him.

It’s like killing your boyfriend’s puppy so that he’ll pay more attention to you. If you do something like that, you’ll lose the boyfriend, and probably most of your other friends too. And hopefully you’ll go to jail, because that’s wrong on a million levels.

So, I don’t know. Maybe God really is killing off the things I love. In which case, screw him, I want nothing to do with him.

Maybe he’s not doing anything, and it is just nature.

Maybe he doesn’t care. And how interested should I be in that case?

I’m just very confused about the whole thing.

I want to believe and I want to trust God, but if I believe some of the things that I have learned, mostly from youth group events, I don’t want anything to do with him.

It has been a bad week…Sorry about the rant.



8 thoughts on “Is God Really a Douchebag?

    1. I think it is something that a lot of people feel, but it’s hard to write about, because we don’t want to admit feeling that way. But sometimes it’s good to just say how you feel. It helps you work it out.


  1. I recently lost a dear friend to cancer who left three young kids behind. Your blog post really sums up how I felt in the days and weeks afterwards towards God, so you’re not alone in your rant. Many of us have felt the same way.


  2. Ranting is OK. Being mad at God is OK. He can take it.

    When I am at the end of my rope … I think of all the GOOD going on in my life … it always amazes me how it outweighs the bad.

    In five years I have lost my Father, Mother, and 58 year old sister to cancer. They were all good people. They suffered so … one time Mother was in the hospital … it was after surgery to remove one of her tumors … she was thrashing about … we almost lost her that night … Tears were streaming down my face … I had no words to pray … I was that scared … I was that helpless and hopeless … I heard a voice loud and clear … I’m here. No matter how hard that night was … God let me know He was there … it comforted me. Mother survived three more years.

    Please don’t think I am preaching … I am just sharing with you my loving God. Take what you like and leave the rest. jan

    The God you describe is not someone I would want to spend time with either. Here is another perspective. God is there for you whatever happens, good or bad. He didn’t cause it, but He can offer you a hand to hold, arms to wrap around you, or strong arms to carry you if that’s what you need.

    All the people in the Bible were not perfect. Their lives were hard and almost unbearable. Yet, they relied on something they knew was bigger and better and stronger than whatever was going on in their lives. Saul persecuted Christians in the early church after the death of Jesus. Saul stoned Christians. Yet, God knew Saul had leadership skills, writing skills, and strength of conviction … even if it was all focused against God. Meeting Saul where he was … along the road to Damascus … God took the horrible things Saul had done … he even killed those who believed in God … but God showed Saul what kind of God … a loving God … he was … and that Saul could also do so much GOOD for so many others.

    Acts 9:1-5. International Children’s Bible

    Saul Is Converted
    9 In Jerusalem Saul was still trying to frighten the followers of the Lord by saying he would kill them. So he went to the high priest 2 and asked him to write letters to the synagogues in the city of Damascus. Saul wanted the high priest to give him the authority to find people in Damascus who were followers of Christ’s Way. If he found any there, men or women, he would arrest them and bring them back to Jerusalem.
    3 So Saul went to Damascus. As he came near the city, a bright light from heaven suddenly flashed around him. 4 Saul fell to the ground. He heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul! Why are you doing things against me?”
    5 Saul said, “Who are you, Lord?”
    The voice answered, “I am Jesus. I am the One you are trying to hurt.”
    The story continues … Acts 9:6-19

    Thank you for allowing me to share with you. I hope you find some peace for your losses. jan


    1. Thank you for your comment! I didn’t think it sounded like preaching at all. At least not preaching in a bad way :~)
      I’m so sorry for your losses, but it looks like you are able to help people because of them. I agree very much with the things that you said, and it is something I’ve needed to be reminded of recently, so I appreciate it.


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