There are so many blogs out there, talking about what depression is like, or showing it in cute little comics or whatever.
They’re all somewhat the same, because their focus is depression.
But they’re also all somewhat different, because everyone who is affected by depression is affected differently.
And one of the most annoying things is that it doesn’t even necessarily affect one person the same way every single time.
It seems like if you could predict how a bout of depression would impact your day, you could at least work out a method to focus and ride it out.
But that isn’t true.
Some days, it is like you’re sinking in a bog. Your whole body feels heavy, and your eyes feel heavy, and all you want is to lie down in your bed (or on the couch, or in a pile of laundry you should be folding, or under your desk…You get the point), and not move. You may not sleep the whole time, but you won’t move much either. And if you can convince people that you are sleeping, they won’t mess with you.
Other days, depression triggers rage, and you just feel like screaming about everything. You feel like everything you do is wrong, and you can’t handle it. You’re not in a good frame of mind to do much of anything.
Then there are days where you feel as though you’re trapped in a maze. You start one thing, then you have to turn around. And this time, it doesn’t necessarily feel like you’re doing anything wrong. You just don’t know which way to go, and it feels like the world is conspiring against you, and you’ll never get to where you’re going.
Every moment is spent trying to get to that final segment, where you see the exit.
But it doesn’t come.
Sometimes you’re trapped in the maze for a long time, trying to find your way out, and at times, trying to kick down the walls that are blocking you in.
You finally get free from whatever kind of depression you’re in, but the hard part is always knowing that you’re going to wind up depressed again. It may be something you’ve dealt with before, or it may be something new.
But however hard it is, one has to remember that, just like the depression always comes back, so does the end of the depression. This is a hard thing to remember, but sometimes it is the only thing that will get you through the next bout of depression.
How about you? What does your depression look like? How do you get through it.